At some point toward the end of this century, old, whiskery men will sit in the shade of a mighty oak talking about the things that sent the blood coursing through their veins as young men. And before their hatchet-faced nurses wheel them sourly back to the ward, their ancient brains will stir with memories of the excellent, pulseenhancing movies that filled the summer of 2000. But their geriatric conversation will not recall the thrilling swordsmanship and headsevering abilities of the gladiator Maximus, or the boiling Atlantic and its ship-swallowing tricks that made it the star of The Perfect Storm. Instead, their thoughts will instantly settle- causing their blankets to gently rise-on the moment when Carmen Electra, unencumbered by excessive clothing, pitter-pattered her way through the refreshing shower of a garden sprinkler, in a vain attempt to avoid a lunatic with a hook.

Barely able to recall their own names, the image of Carmen in white lingerie dashing through the garden is as fresh and clear to them as if they had witnessed it as recently as breakfast time.

Rewind back to today. The explosive impact of Carmen Electra's scene-stealing sprint in the horror spoof Scary Movie has helped propel the flick to the biggest opening for an R-rated movie in Hollywood history. So just at a time when the public was finally starting to growweary of hearing about her brief yet colorful marriage to 'difficult" basketball star and all-around showoff Dennis Rodman, she's forced her way back into the spotlight with a performance that will echo down the centuries.

Now that she is back at the head of the parade, the 27-year-old former Bqywatch star is planning her next attack on the American pulse. "My next film role is another cameo," she says. 'I play a dominatrix.... It's cool because I'm into aggressive sex." Nurse!

Do you spend a Lot of time on the high plains rustling cattle in your underwear?

No. I'm not realty into horses. And the ranch was weird and scary. When we showed up, they were shooting a porno in the barn. There were beds outside and little sets everywhere where they shoot the porn. I wanted to watch, but unfortunately, we didn't get done with our shoot in time. They brought some of the porn stars over to meet me. They were sweet girls.

Were they also parading around in chaps?

No, robes. Before today, I don't think I've ever worn chaps. I think they're reatty sexy, but normalty I woutdn't parade around in them. There are very few people who can get away with wearing chaps without it being too scary.

Is running naked through your front-lawn sprinkler a big part of your life?

When I was 17, I had a Slip 'N Slide. My two girlfriends and I were hanging out one night and we decided to get crazy. We stripped down to our panties-topless and everything-and started sliding across theyard on the Slip 'N Slide. It was cool.

Do you often find yourself frolicking with naked women in the dark?

AlI get is women trying to pick me up. I was recently at a party, and Leonardo DiCaprio was there hanging out and talking to three gorgeous women. The girls saw me, left Leo, and were all over me. Later on that evening, Leo walked up to me and said, 'That was crazy. The girls I was with ditched me for you." But no, I've never had a sexual experience with a woman.

Are you morally opposed to an experience of that nature?

Not at all. I've never been afraid of my sexuality. I think women are incredibly sexy. But with me, the problem's always been that women try to force themselves on me and I don't like that. It's gonna have to happen naturally and beautifully, not planned or forced. I'm not against it at all. But see what I mean? Just took at those girls over there at the bar. They've been leering and smiling at me for the past two hours.

Was getting married to Dennis Rodrnan a stunt, or did that come naturally?

We had already been dating for a year when he called me from Vegas and asked if I would join him. He sent a private jet. There was something dangerous and exciting about him. We partied at the Hard Rock and then I went to bed. The next thing I know, he wakes me up at 5:30 in the morning and goes, 'Stand up, stand on the bed.' So I'm standing on the bed and we're eye to eye, because he's 6-8 and I'm 5-4. It was the sweetest moment, and he's probably gonna kill me for saying it, but his eyes were watery and he looks at me and goes, 'Let's go get married. Let's go do it right now, let's go get married." I was like, 'Yeah, let's do it." Then we cried. I know Dennis is a little crazy sometimes, but I really had a chance to get to know the down-to-earth Dennis, the sweet side of him. I've always fantasized about having a perfect family, but we turned out more like The Addams Family than The Brady Bunch.

How was the honeymoon? More importantly, is he truly a large man?

We're very sexually compatible. As for large, you'll have to see it foryourself sometime. I wonder where that rumor started? I'm an honest person, but I don't want to hurt my friend and put his business out there by answering honestly, so I'd rather not say anything at all.

Were you crushed when he divorced you?

I divorced him. I received a call from Dennis the day after the wedding-I had to leave Vegas for a calendar shoot-and he goes, 'You're not gonna like this one.' And I go, 'What now, Dennis?' 'My manager released a statement to the press saying that I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing." He fired his agent for me, but I still took that hard. I know what's real and what happened and that's all that really matters, but it got a little weird after that. I felt like things weren't completely right and we needed to end it. I just thought, 'This has got to stop.' So a few months after that, I called him to tell him I wanted a divorce. I wanted to at least give him that respect.

This conversation is like therapy. Are you stilt friends?

Of course. I tamed Dennis as much as anyone could. He's still chasing me all the time. I just had a birthday and a bunch of my friends, including Dennis, went to Vegas. And he was asking me to marry him again. I said no. He asks me all the time. He just called me an hour ago and asked me to marry him.

Speaking of marriage, what makes a great butt?

Genetics. A good ass should be nice and round and firm. And it doesn't necessarily have to be so tan. I think waxing is dope. There's a place I go called Pink Cheeks and it has this thing called Playboy Wax. It's amazing. I walk in, take my underwear off and lay down on a table. I do a position from ballet where I raise my foot and put it on the inside of my knee. The woman waxes me- she's incredible. I turn around, I get on my hands and knees and she waxes my ass. There's nothing like getting waxed, I'm telling you. My roommate, she has a bigger ass. We call her 'Big Booty.' So when she gets it done, they have to spread her ass to get at the hair. She doesn't realty have to go that far to get mine.

Word on the street is that David Hassethoff refuses to shave his hairy chest but waxes his man-action.

I haven't heard about that. But I was on Howard Stern, and Jon Bon Jovi called in and he was talking about how he's waxing now, and Howard's interested in waxing. It adds to sex 110 percent. I get a better sensation when I'm having sex or doing anything ' I think if a man had his woman do it for him, it could be fun. And I would love to wax my man. I think it could be very erotic. Some people like pain and would probably be really into that. I think it would be fun to wax each other. I can actually have an orgasm from wearing tight jeans and driving a car. There's no hair, so I'm completely sensitive.

Isn't that a bit dangerous at 65 mph?

If I'm wearing a pair of tightjeans and I have a nice wax it is. I actually have a story about my very first orgasm. I was 12 years old and I was taking the bus to school. This was when we wore our jeans so tight. I remember I was really, really tired, it was early in the morning, and I was leaning forward with my hands up against the seat and my head leaning against my hands. And I started to fall asleep. But all of a sudden, my mouth dropped, and I couldn't make any noises because I was on this bus with a bunch of kids. So I was just holding this feeling inside of me. I think it was because of the tightjeans and the way the bus was bouncing, and I just. . . that was the first orgasm I ever had. And I just remember everyday, I would wear the tight jeans and sit in the same seat, but I couldn't get that feeling again.

Should that worry men? Should they buy their women baggy cargo pants?

Not really, though women do have orgasms at the weirdest times in the weirdest places. One of my best friends- she has an orgasm every time she takes Tae-Bo. She starts to have it in class, so she runs out to finish it off. Ten minutes later, we're going, 'You're missing class,' and she's like, 'I had to leave. I had an orgasm.'

Have you kept in touch with any of the folks from Baywatch?

No. I didn't go to the reunion. I couldn't imagine it would be that much fun. I do love Yasmine Bleeth though. We got drunk together at a party and she's, like, the coolest girl ever. There was a huge party at this mansion and I'm sitting at the bar. I buzz easy, so I wasn't drinking. She ordered a shot of vodka for both of us. She's like, 'Come on,' and I looked at her and said, 'No, that's OK.' And she said, 'You're not being a wimp, are you?" And that's aII needed to hear. She called me out. So I took the shot and I was like, "OK, this is cool. I'm not feeling anything yet." She ordered another one and I'm like, 'Oh, my God, what am I going to do?' So it was Carmen against Yasmine. I was like, 'OK, I gotta hang. I gotta hang in the mix.' So it was the third shot, and I didn't know what was going on. She got drunk, lost her shoe and fell into a bush.

Obviously liquor isn't the key to your heart. What is?

I'm more attracted to a stronger man rather than a feminine man. Someone who would just throw me down and take control. I love feeling helpless. I haven't been talked dirty to in so long. I feet like a nun. I'm so boring. But I definitely like a man who is aggressive and confident. I like aggressive sex. I love that. For some interesting reason, I also like a guy who has a littte bit of a belly. I think that's realty cute.

Is that all?

It's fun to role-play. I would make him dress up in all black and wear a mask. And I would be in my house and he would break in and be a burglar like a real burglar. Then he totally ties me up and takes advantage of me. That would just be amazing. But I would know it's my boyfriend, obviously. I would never want that to really happen; that's a horrible experience.

Now that your old pal has changed his name back to Prince, will you change yours back to Tara Patrick?

I feet like Tara and Carmen are two different people. Tara is a side of me that's more sweet, insecure, innocent and down-to-earth. Carmen is the stronger side of me. I've really neglected the soft side of me. I'm trying to get back to it.

Maybe Tara Electra?

I don't think that sounds too good. If I go back, I'm just going to have to go back the whole way. I'm trying to change for the better in a lot of ways. It's so sad when you lose your innocence. I feet like I only have a little bit left and I don't want to lose it.